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Maybe you wish he folded his socks, or that he would chat it up with your friends without prompting.

But, his inability to notice hair in the sink may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to him in the first place.

"Relationship expert Jon Gottman found in his research that in everyday life, happy couples have 20 positive moments — a shared look, compliment, or affectionate touch, for example — to every negative moment," says Wilk.

Instead of saying, "You're a good dad," tell him why.

"You're a good dad because you helped our daughter with that puzzle, which I never would have had the patience to do."RELATED:  How to Avoid the 7-Year Itch In Your Marriage" title="marriage" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAIAAAAAAAP///y H5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" data-src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/17/08/rbk_web_improvemarrriage03.jpg?

crop=1.0xw:1xh;center,top&resize=768:*" /Giving your partner positive reinforcement sounds like a no-brainer, but couples often forget to do it.

"One of the things we see with happy couples is that they know their partner's differences, and have pretty much stopped trying to change the other person," says Darren Wilk, a certified Gottman Couples Therapist with a private practice in Vancouver, British Columbia.

"Rather than trying to fight their partner's personality style, they instead focus on each other's strengths." Whether you want him to unload the dishwasher more often or pay closer attention to the kids, your partner will be more likely to change his behavior if he feels like he'll get relationship brownie points. Present it like 'here is the recipe for what will make me happy,' because everyone wants to make their partner feel happy," says Wilk.Tell him something positive three times a day, and be specific.Instead of saying, "You're a good dad," tell him why.crop=1.0xw:1xh;center,top&resize=768:*" /"Happy couples tend to rewrite history by glossing over the bad stuff and focusing on the happy times," says Wilk.RELATED: 15 Bullsh*t Myths About Marriage You Do Not Need to Believe "Sometimes what affair-proofs relationships is simply being there when your partner needs to vent, and having their back without trying to fix the problem," says Wilk.crop=1.0xw:1xh;center,top&resize=768:*" /Maybe you wish he folded his socks, or that he would chat it up with your friends without prompting.But his inability to do so may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to him in the first place.crop=1.0xw:1xh;center,top&resize=768:*" /"Sometimes what affair-proofs relationships is simply being there when your partner needs to vent, and having their back without trying to fix the problem," says Wilk."People want someone to listen to them." The key is to be supportive, and never take the side of the person he's venting about — even if you can see where that person is coming from."One of the things we see with happy couples is that they know their partner's differences, and have pretty much stopped trying to change the other person," says Darren Wilk, a certified  Gottman Couples Therapist with a private practice in Vancouver, British Columbia."Rather than trying to fight their partner's personality style, they instead focus on each other's strengths."  RELATED: 40 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage" title="marriage" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAIAAAAAAAP///y H5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" data-src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/rbk.h-cdn.co/assets/17/08/rbk_web_improvemarrriage01.jpg?

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