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As I have come to learn, most of those who grow up in a dysfunctional relationship are condemned to seek them out forevermore. In adulthood, I had become a rather complicated girlfriend, each relationship beginning well, but then growing fractured and ending badly.

I am bound to say, though, that I wasn't solely culpable. I ended up marrying one of these complicated boyfriends.

He was by far the best of the bunch, a kind and generous man, but someone who could also be selfish and unfeeling.

He discovered messages on my phone and so I sat him down and poured the whole sorry tale out to him, feeling I was stamping on his heart with every word. I spent a lonely Christmas at my mother's house with nothing to do but wonder how I had got myself into this situation. I started therapy, and learned just how dysfunctional my life had been, and so little wonder I kept making new problems for myself.

I began writing everything down, to help make sense of it, first for myself, then for others.

When the time was right for both of us, we would work through our problems and come back to one another. I shed my regulars and concentrated on just one, a man younger than me by almost two decades.

And it was harmless, until I fell in too deep and wanted more than his messages.

I was fortunate enough to get another chance to do so, and I'm working at it now. Turned On By Lucy Dent (Doubleday, rrp £14.99) is available to order from Telegraph Books at £12.99 £1.35 p&p.

Call 08 or visit Telegraph Books The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.

Mercifully, the kind and complicated man I was married to focused too.

I'd always heard that you have to work at a marriage.

There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.

I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

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